Overcome Erectile Dysfunction: Common Myth & Strategies
Did you know that between 40-70% of men in America have experienced erectile dysfunction (ED) at some point in their lives? This statistic indicates that erectile dysfunction is not an isolated issue but a common challenge many men face. Nevertheless, societal pressures and misunderstandings often exacerbate the situation and hinder the path to recovery.
Dr. Yishan, a licensed clinical psychologist, sexologist, and board-certified sleep expert, interviewed her colleague, licensed sex therapist Dr. Heather England. You can find this conversation on our YouTube channel, and hope this summary could shed some light on common mistakes couples make when dealing with ED and provide practical advice on how to recover from it.
Common Mistakes that Complicate ED
Miscommunication and misconceptions play a significant role in making ED worse than it needs to be. Here are some common mistakes couples often make:
Personalizing ED: Partners may attribute ED to their perceived lack of attractiveness, falsely believing their partner's lack of erection indicates they are not appealing enough or are being cheated on. This not only personalizes an issue that is primarily physiological but also places unnecessary strain on the relationship.
Lack of Discussion: Not talking about ED is a major error. Miscommunication breeds misunderstandings, resentment, and, at times, hurtful remarks that can drive a wedge between partners.
Not Treating ED as a Joint Problem: ED affects both partners, not just the man. Treating it as a solitary problem rather than a shared challenge fails to foster the necessary support and understanding from both parties.
Avoiding Intimacy: Men with ED often avoid sex and other forms of physical intimacy out of fear or embarrassment, which can lead to an emotional disconnect between partners.
Relying Solely on Medication: While pills can assist, they are not magic cures. Relying on medication alone without addressing other necessary changes can lead to disappointment and continued dysfunction.
Steps to Recover from ED
According to Dr. England, getting the right help, can assist couples to regain intimacy and improve their sex quality and life satisfaction together. Here are several steps she suggested:
Redefine Sex and Tackling ED as a Team
A crucial part of managing ED involves redefining what sex means within your relationship. Society often defines sex as penetrative intercourse, creating a pass/fail mentality around the ability to maintain an erection. This is a limiting view and causes unnecessary pressure on men.
We urge couples to redefine sex as a broader concept encompassing all pleasurable and connecting activities, allowing for a more flexible, satisfying, and less stressful sexual experience even when dealing with ED.
Seek Medical Help for ED
When experiencing erectile dysfunction, it's crucial to share this with your doctor to rule out any potential medical causes. Beyond medical advice, involving a sex therapist, like Dr. England, can be incredibly beneficial. Therapy helps couples to understand their sexual desires, debunk sex myths, manage anxiety related to ED, and plan for successful sexual encounters.
Dr. England’s course, "Take Charge of Your ED," offers comprehensive guidance on managing ED, incorporating strategies to control anxiety, develop flexible lovemaking routines, and enhance communication. If you want to give it a try, she offers all my readers a 10% off coupon: "MINDBODYGARDEN".
Change Your Mindset
Taking charge of ED means understanding that occasional ED is normal, and failure to maintain an erection doesn't make you less of a man or a failure. With this mindset, you can shrug off the pressure and focus on intimacy and connection, which often leads to the return of an erection.
Conclusion
Erectile dysfunction is a common issue manageable with understanding, communication, and flexibility. It is not a reflection of one's manhood or attractiveness, but an encouragement for couples to navigate the challenge together and maintain a fulfilling sexual relationship.
In conclusion, love yourself, you are special.
Remember, the journey to overcoming erectile dysfunction is not one you have to walk alone.
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