Spoon Theory: A Powerful Tool for Understanding Energy Limits in Chronic Illness and Neurodivergence

By Elisha Lloyd, Psychotherapist & Expressive Art Therapist, MBG Clinic

Have you ever felt inexplicably drained, even after a full night’s sleep or a restful weekend? Or struggled to explain to others why seemingly small tasks feel overwhelming? One of my favorite tools for exploring these experiences—both with clients and in my personal reflections—is something called Spoon Theory.

Originally conceptualized by Christine Miserandino, Spoon Theory provides a tangible and compassionate framework to help people understand what it’s like to live with chronic illness, disability, fatigue, or energy limitations. It’s a theory that has resonated across communities, especially among people navigating invisible disabilities, including lupus, autism, ME/CFS, long COVID, and ADHD.

What Is Spoon Theory?

The idea began over dinner, when Christine’s friend asked her what it was like living with lupus, a chronic autoimmune illness. Christine wanted a tactile way to demonstrate her experience and noticed spoons on the table. She gathered 12 of them in front of her and used each spoon to represent a unit of energy, explaining how each task, from getting out of bed to managing pain or preparing a meal, costs her one or more “spoons.” Once they were gone, she was out of energy for the day. If she overextended, she’d have to borrow from tomorrow’s supply, often leading to a crash.

This conversation was later written into a now-famous essay titled "The Spoon Theory" , and it struck a chord with millions.

Why Spoon Theory Matters in Mental Health and Neurodivergent Communities

Spoon Theory can be a practical tool for self-awareness, boundary-setting, and sustainable energy management.

In my work with autistic adults and neurodivergent individuals, Spoon Theory often becomes a shared metaphor to explore how sensory input, social demands, or executive functioning tasks affect them. For instance:

  • One client may have plenty of "social spoons" and thrive in conversation but quickly burn out from sensory overload in busy environments.

  • Another may find executive functioning—tasks like planning, organizing, or transitioning—particularly draining, even though they’re physically rested.

Research supports the idea that neurodivergent individuals often experience higher baseline cognitive load, leading to faster depletion of energy. A 2020 study published in Autism journal noted that autistic adults commonly report higher levels of daily fatigue, linked to increased cognitive effort required to navigate neurotypical environments (Hwang et al., 2020).

Tracking Your "Spoons": Where Does Your Energy Go?

Not all spoons are created equal and not all people draw from the same spoon drawers.

Energy can be taxed in multiple domains:

  • Physical: fatigue, chronic pain, mobility limitations

  • Emotional: anxiety, mood fluctuations, trauma triggers

  • Sensory: noise, light, textures, crowded spaces

  • Cognitive: focus, memory, decision-making

  • Social: conversation, small talk, masking

  • Executive functioning: transitions, planning, multitasking

You might have fewer “spoons” in one area and more in another. For example, you may enjoy social interaction but find physical chores like laundry or grocery shopping almost impossible. Or you might breeze through your to-do list, only to collapse after a long meeting in a loud room.

Rest Doesn’t Always Refill the Tank

A common frustration I hear from clients is: “But I rested all weekend, why am I still exhausted?”

Rest alone doesn’t always restore energy, especially when nervous system dysregulation, sensory burnout, or chronic stress are at play. The spoon deficit may be deeper than it appears. In fact, studies on chronic fatigue and burnout show that recovery often requires more than sleep, it involves intentional nervous system regulation, meaningful connection, and reducing environmental overload (Bakker et al., 2014).

Compassionate Energy Management: Questions to Ask Yourself

Instead of pushing through or shaming yourself for “not doing enough,” try asking:

  • Where is most of my energy going lately?

  • What tasks or environments deplete me the fastest?

  • What genuinely helps me feel restored—emotionally, physically, and mentally?

  • What warning signs signal I’m running low on spoons?

Self-compassion and curiosity—not judgment—are the foundation of effective energy tracking.

You can even try daily spoon journaling for a week: write down your main tasks and how many "spoons" they seemed to cost. Over time, patterns will emerge that help you make more informed, aligned choices.

Therapy, Self-Awareness, and Support

As a therapist, I work with clients to identify where their energy drains occur, and how to support their nervous system so they’re not constantly borrowing spoons from tomorrow. For neurodivergent clients, this often includes expressive arts, body-based techniques, psychoeducation, and strengthening self-advocacy.

Ultimately, Spoon Theory helps us answer one key question:

How can I live in a way that honors my capacity — not just today, but sustainably over time?

Reference:

Bakker, A. B., & Costa, P. L. (2014). Chronic job burnout and daily functioning: A theoretical analysis. Burnout research, 1(3), 112-119.

Hwang, Y. I. (Jane), Arnold, S., Trollor, J., & Uljarević, M. (2020). Factor structure and psychometric properties of the brief Connor–Davidson Resilience Scale for adults on the autism spectrum. Autism, 24(6), 1572-1577. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361320908095 (Original work published 2020)

This article is brought to you by Elisha Lloyd, a psychotherapist and expressive art therapist working for Mind & Body Garden Psychology. If you or a loved one is seeking support from an autism specialist who values neurodiversity, learn more about working with Elisha Lloyd here.

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