Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Handling the Feeling of “I Don’t Deserve This
“Imposter syndrome,” or another term that is often used more frequently, the “feeling of not deserving,” are not exactly the same, but they share one common theme: “It shouldn’t be me.”
When people achieve academic or career success, those experiencing imposter feelings often believe they have only deceived others into thinking they are competent, rather than attributing their success to their real abilities and effort. They selectively ignore the evidence of their achievements and instead attribute success to external or fleeting factors (McLean Hospital, 2023).
Modesty, Self-Erasure & the Cultural Lens
We may all have heard sayings such as:
Right time, right place, right people
Joy is followed by sorrow
The nail that sticks out gets hammered down
There are always people better than you
Modesty brings progress, arrogance brings setbacks
In Asian cultures, modesty is highly valued. Modesty itself is not wrong — it helps us avoid arrogance and maintain respect. But at times, by downplaying our success, we may also plant seeds of self-doubt. If we think of modesty and imposter syndrome as two ends of a spectrum, modesty can sometimes stretch too far toward the other end, blurring into self-erasure (MIT Sloan School of Management, 2023).
Modesty → Self-erasure
Modesty is respect; → Imposter syndrome is the sense of not deserving
Modesty is recognizing limitations; → Imposter syndrome is denying one’s abilities
Modesty is avoiding arrogance → Imposter syndrome is believing you don’t deserve recognition
Common misconceptions about imposter syndrome:
It is a permanent personality trait
It occurs only in women or minority groups
It has only negative effects (research shows that people with imposter feelings may actually perform better at work; Zanchetta et al., 2020)
It inevitably leads to harmful outcomes
How to cope with imposter feelings
from Dr. Valerie Young, founder of the Imposter Syndrome Institute:
Speak about it openly — naming it reduces its power (Imposter Syndrome Institute, n.d.)
Distinguish feelings from facts
Recognize the situations where these feelings are most likely to arise
See imposter feelings as a sign that you care about what you are doing, and forgive inevitable mistakes
Develop healthier responses to failure and error
Challenge limiting rules (e.g., “I must always know the answer,” “I can’t fail,” “I can’t ask for help”)
Practice positive self-talk
Visualize yourself succeeding
Affirm and reward yourself
Learn by doing, allowing yourself to have imposter moments without judgment
Interestingly, researchers have found that imposter feelings are not always purely negative — they can sometimes motivate people to prepare more thoroughly and perform better (Harvard Business Review, 2022).
Mini Reflection Exercise
Take 60 seconds to reflect on and write down one accomplishment you achieved this month — big or small — and the effort you put in to make it happen. Keep this evidence, and when imposter feelings arise, bring it out as a reminder: this is just a passing moment — it will not define me.
Why It’s More Common Than You Think
Up to 70% people experience imposter feelings at some point in their lives (Psychology Today, n.d.). It is not the whole truth of who you are, but simply a voice along the path of growth — one we can listen to and examine, but need not fully believe.
Your mind might whisper “It shouldn’t be me,” but your effort, resilience, and growth prove otherwise. Use the strategies above to push through the threshold of doubt—and step into your fuller possibility.
References
Harvard Business Review. (2022, November 21). Impostor syndrome has its advantages. Harvard Business Publishing. https://hbr.org/2022/11/impostor-syndrome-has-its-advantages
Imposter Syndrome Institute. (n.d.). 10 steps you can use to overcome impostor syndrome. https://impostorsyndrome.com/10-steps-to-overcome-impostor-syndrome/
McLean Hospital. (2023, June 8). Feeling like a fraud? A deep dive into impostor syndrome. https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/feeling-fraud-deep-dive-impostor-syndrome
MIT Sloan School of Management. (2023, February 16). New research debunks 4 myths about ‘impostor syndrome’. https://mitsloan.mit.edu/ideas-made-to-matter/new-research-debunks-4-myths-about-impostor-syndrome
Psychology Today. (n.d.). Imposter syndrome. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/imposter-syndrome
Zanchetta, M., Junker, A., Robins, T., & Haque, F. (2020). Prevalence, predictors, and treatment of impostor syndrome: A systematic review. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 35(4), 1252–1275. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11606-019-05364-1
Author: Yiming Yuan, Therapist in MBG clinic NY office.
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