An Uncertain Future: Finding Balance When Life Offers No Guarantees
Author: Yiming Yuan, Therapist in MBG clinic NY office.
Uncertainty is something most of us dislike. It brings only questions and the unknown, not answers.
But what does uncertainty actually feel like? Though it can sound abstract, the body often knows it well:
Like drifting upward in a dream, unsure where you’ll land.
Like falling, pulled downward by gravity.
Like floating in a small boat on an endless sea, with no control over the waves.
These are the sensations of losing control—of being unanchored.
We Knew Uncertainty Before We Had Words
Even before we learned language or understood the concept of danger, we knew what uncertainty felt like.
If you’ve ever seen a baby lifted in the air during a diaper change—the flailing limbs, the wide eyes—you’ve seen this instinctive panic. In that moment, without the ground beneath them, the baby expresses: “I don’t know who is holding me. I’ve lost my support.”
As adults, we stop flailing. But the unease doesn’t disappear—it shifts inward, into our minds and emotions. We make plans, build routines, and hold tightly to people or things that give us stability. All of this is an attempt to manage life’s persistent uncertainty.
How We Resist Uncertainty
No one escapes uncertainty, but many of us push back against it in our choices:
Picking a popular major when unsure of our strengths—because it “can’t go wrong.”
Taking a stable job—because predictability feels safe.
Returning to our hometowns—because drifting feels unsustainable.
Believing—or being told—that there’s a “right age” for every milestone in life.
These decisions aren’t wrong. Uncertainty is draining. But it can also spark curiosity and resilience, helping us meet unfamiliar parts of ourselves.
Can We Coexist With Uncertainty?
Yes—and it begins with gentle, intentional steps:
1. Notice, Don’t Rush to Fix
Recognize when you’re in uncertainty. Allow yourself to sit with it, instead of forcing immediate answers.
2. Grounded in the Here and Now
Remind yourself: Right now, I am safe.
Even if you don’t know the future, you don’t need the solution today. Live one moment at a time.
3. Build a toolbox of safety anchors
Routines → create rhythm and stability.
Examples: your morning iced Americano, regular workouts, daily after-dinner walk, etc.
Boundaries → provide structure and protect your time and energy.
Examples: limiting social time each week, setting aside uninterrupted blocks for personal focus.
Rituals → offer meaning and emotional grounding.
Examples: using scent and music to create evening calm, reciting encouraging words, and regularly buying ourselves flowers.
4. Seek Support in Relationships
Connection helps us feel “held”—by family, friends, or a trusted therapist. This sense of containment strengthens our ability to stay with the unknown.
5. Reframe Uncertainty
Uncertainty isn’t a monster to defeat—it’s a companion on the journey of becoming ourselves. It means that at any moment, we can reshape who we are—again and again.
When to Seek Help
If uncertainty leaves you anxious, restless, or unable to move forward, therapy can help. At Mind & Body Garden Psychology, our therapists provide evidence-based strategies and compassionate support to help you build resilience, discover balance, and feel grounded in the face of life’s unknowns.
You don’t have to face uncertainty alone—schedule an appointment with us today.
Psychological services available in multiple languages (English, Mandarin, Cantonese, French, Turkish, etc.): 650-434-2563; admin@mindbodygarden.com. HSA/FSA accepted. Send us a text message on the phone, or call us and leave a voicemail.
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